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Classroom Apple-Plexy Strikes Again.

Classroom Apple-Plexy Strikes Again.

The bell rings to start the first period of the first day of school. More of a shriek than a ding. Or was that in her head? Shivers crawl down her spine. Summer is officially over, and the kids are swarming everywhere trying to get to their rooms. But it’s not the children that are causing the apprehension, or the thought of the never-ending paperwork. Even the constant vigilance against texting is manageable enough. No, none of this explains her dread. It’s…
The apples.
Granny Smiths, Ambrosias, Hampshire Beauties, Quebec Bells, Galas— what?— a MILTON?. Where in the hell did someone get a Milton? Fall Pippins, Fiestas®, Fortunes and Fujis. What the f….?
She has nightmares about apples, and they get worse as the summer progresses. Apples follow her everywhere, filling up the room in suffocating numbers. Gnarled, twisted crones proffer steaming pies. Malevolent, animated strudels chase her through thick, clinging pools of applesauce making escape impossible.
She jolts awake. What’s the point of having two months off if you live in mortal terror of falling asleep? 
But she’s in her classroom. It’s another waking dream. Looking down at her desk, awash in apples, she suddenly sees…
…a shiny bottle, its label glistening in chromatic defiance of the dull fluorescents. It’s right there on my desk, and it’s not a bleepin’ apple! The room seems to float away, and the kid’s voices mute to silence. There, in gorgeous blue lettering, read the words: “Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Carmelitas”. Tearing off the lid, she dumps several of the deep brown, creamy nuggets into her hand, and just as quickly, her taste buds are swimming in chocolate ecstasy. She is smiling uncontrollably. 
There’s going to be one pampered Teacher’s Pet this year…

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