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Event: Choctoberfest 2016, First Friday, 10/7/16

Event: Choctoberfest 2016, First Friday, 10/7/16

What if we told you that you could win an authentic Oktoberfest Beer Stein filled with chocolate; pre-order all of your client/employee holiday gifts (that they’ll actually want); eat ridiculous amounts of delicious Belgian Chocolate; and laugh uncontrollably during a zany photo-booth session with a deranged psychiatrist— all in one place? We agree, it sounds too good to be true. But all of this, and more, will be happening at Chocolate Crisis Center on RiNo Art District's October First Friday. That’s 5 PM until 9, Friday, October 7. Questions: email us at info@chocolatecrisiscenter.com
 

 

Classroom Apple-Plexy Strikes Again.

Classroom Apple-Plexy Strikes Again.

The bell rings to start the first period of the first day of school. More of a shriek than a ding. Or was that in her head? Shivers crawl down her spine. Summer is officially over, and the kids are swarming everywhere trying to get to their rooms. But it’s not the children that are causing the apprehension, or the thought of the never-ending paperwork. Even the constant vigilance against texting is manageable enough. No, none of this explains her dread. It’s…
The apples.
Granny Smiths, Ambrosias, Hampshire Beauties, Quebec Bells, Galas— what?— a MILTON?. Where in the hell did someone get a Milton? Fall Pippins, Fiestas®, Fortunes and Fujis. What the f….?
She has nightmares about apples, and they get worse as the summer progresses. Apples follow her everywhere, filling up the room in suffocating numbers. Gnarled, twisted crones proffer steaming pies. Malevolent, animated strudels chase her through thick, clinging pools of applesauce making escape impossible.
She jolts awake. What’s the point of having two months off if you live in mortal terror of falling asleep? 
But she’s in her classroom. It’s another waking dream. Looking down at her desk, awash in apples, she suddenly sees…
…a shiny bottle, its label glistening in chromatic defiance of the dull fluorescents. It’s right there on my desk, and it’s not a bleepin’ apple! The room seems to float away, and the kid’s voices mute to silence. There, in gorgeous blue lettering, read the words: “Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Carmelitas”. Tearing off the lid, she dumps several of the deep brown, creamy nuggets into her hand, and just as quickly, her taste buds are swimming in chocolate ecstasy. She is smiling uncontrollably. 
There’s going to be one pampered Teacher’s Pet this year…
Just in Time for Back to School

Just in Time for Back to School

Now it’s easier than ever to dis-intermediate learner-centered efficacies within the core curriculum!
Are you tired of writing your own edu-babble for documents, grants and accreditation reports? Sick of using your personal time to create authentic-sounding, yet meaningless educational phraseology for documentation you shouldn’t need to do in the first place? You are in luck! Using this handy online tool, you can instantly create gems like:

“We will share out inquiry-centered living documents across content areas.”
         
“Our team must innovate interdisciplinary strategies within the Zone of Proximity.”


“The department’s new strategy will iterate interactive cohorts for high-performing seats.”
Every one of these jargon beauties was produced with a click of the mouse, right here! Why waste your precious time linking multi-syllable words into incomprehensible strings for use in pointless documentation? Get back to doing what you do best: Teaching!
Best of all, the time you save can be spent enjoying indulgences like delicious Belgian chocolate! It’s a twofer: a clear mind and a delectable snack. Start today!
This message was brought to you by the Chocolate Crisis Center Teaching Survival Kit. Helping teachers cope from coast to coast for over ten years.